juz reach home from SA~
was alan birthday today!
so happy birthday!!!!


last few days....
she wrote me a email..
a very long 1..
msn me ask me to read it..
n log off... mayb she dun log off..
but block me on msn~
coz aft tt day~ i nv see her online anymore..
idk y.. mayb she is too bz or something..
anyway.. she explain to me wat happen...
actually.. i dunno whether to belief or not..
but... things happen 2 yrs plus..
even if i do... things all alr happened...
wat to do...
from the 1st word of the letter...
my tears cant seem to stop...
it took me quite some time to finish the whole email...
some point she say was true...
i admit.. aft playing dota wif jackie they all.
i cant seem to stop...
tts was still during at my O lvl period...
i neglect them... ignore their advice n continue gaming...
i noe this was my bad...
i din express myself either..
so no way to blame other ppl....
but.... u guys may not noe...
was the most impt in my life at tt point of time.....
i noe i can rely on u guys.....
if anything is wrong...
u all were be there for me...
not making use of any1..
but truly belief in all of u~
i guess... all of this came too late too~
i noe u guys gt my blog..
might read it somewher sometime... idk...
or mayb dun even bother to see anymore..
tts still up to u all~
to her... the case happen....
mayb part of it is my fault too~
haiz... idk...
but.. tt case really hit me alot... ><
if u read this...
i alr forgive u~
juz wan to tel u~
2 yrs shld be long enuf to heal..
thou not as last time... but still.... i'm fine alr..
juz feel sad whenever i thot of it..
n coz of it.. i lost u~
i've waiting for ur reply..
but till now.. nope...
everyday checking if u will online... email.. if u reply...
sadly... no~
mayb i shld juz stop doing this....
online juz to check mails...
or few mins check phone juz see if he gt sms me...
if u wanna reply.. u reply long time ago...
mayb u dun wan to.. dun wish to talk to me etc... zz~
i'll still be waiting i guess...
><
as for him~
thou i told ppl it over...
shld not be a prob... but still my actions n stuff doesn't seem to change back to normal...
checking phone seeeing if he smsed me...
wanna talk to him but afraid tt i'll annoyed him...
so i'm trying to control myself...
control myself for being sooo..... crazy... ><
srsly... idk wat u have tt attract me so much...
....... the feeling really sux man...


A guy mayb find me interesting n than interested in me... but he will nv love me.. i'm not tt kind of ger tt a guy would wan for his life..

haizzz~
srsly.. no 1 would wan a ger like me...
wat to do~ i'm born wif it.....
i guess i'll go wash up n slp....
being damn emo lately...
><
gotta really stop it.....
i am trying hard thou...zzz~